Cloverfield

Cloverfield

Blood/gore: Not an insane amount of blood and gore, except a few scenes where people explode. But tons of menacing deaths cause me to give it a 9.
Dialogue: It seems so real (mainly because the home video effect of the cinematography), but never the less, it has its funny moments also. Solid script. It gets a 9.

Sexual Content: Some nice eye candy to look at throughout the movie, but nothing major. It gets a 4.
Special Effects: Amazing special effects. Typical monster thriller movies are cheesy, but where those all went wrong, Cloverfield succeeded. I give it a perfect 10.
Weapons: The army pumps the shit out of the monster with typical army weapons, which would give the movie a 6, but the monster eats people, uses its tail thing to crush stuff and it throws the head of the Statue of Liberty at people. That makes the weapons get a 9.

Destruction: Probably the most destructive movie I have ever seen. Between the army and the monster, Manhattan gets obliterated. It definitely gets a 10.

Overall: 51/60

It is a super short movie, actually the exact length of a DV Tape due to the idea of it supposed to be a home video account of what happened, but it packs so much into 72 minutes. The monster is not corny either, which had me hooked as soon as I saw it. I really liked this movie because it just felt so real; the terror and suspense was amazing. At points you really feel like you could be going through what they are. Just a great movie and concept from J.J. Abrams (he wrote Armageddon, an awesome guy movie, as well as being the producer for TV's hit show Lost). This is definitely a must see movie, and I strongly recommend doing so very soon.

No Country For Old Men

No Country For Old Men
Blood/gore: Lots of blood. Gets a 9.
Dialogue: Darkly funny. Hard to follow at times. you really have to pay attention to the movie. It gets a 8 just for Javier Bardem alone
Sexual Content: None. Barely beats out There Will Not Be Blood. It gets a 1 for at least having female characters.
Special Effects: Not insanely good. Not bad though. A 5 seems reasonable.
Weapons: Javier Bardem uses a silenced shotgun and a CO2 tank used to kill cattle. Weapons get a 10.
Destruction: Some solid destruction of cars via crashes and explosions, as well as just some flat out painting the town red. I estimate it at roughly 2,065,300 mexican pesos worth of destruction. I give it a 7.
Overall: 40/60

Definitely not the best movie I have ever seen, but not bad. I would say you have to see it once just to say you have seen it for Javier Badass (I legally changed his name from Javier Bardem to Javier Badass like 2 minutes ago) alone. Where has this guy been my whole life? Seriously, you definitely see why he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He also uses a silenced shotgun to kill people. When the hell has anyone ever heard of a silenced shotgun? Exactly. The movie is a little boring at times, but still a hell of a lot more manly than the other terrible candidates for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. I don't necessarily recommend buying it unless you really like it, so I would definitely put the kids to bed early one night and rent this very well made suspenseful crime/mystery thrill ride. The Coen Brothers (also made The Big Lebowski, the funniest movie ever) seem to have found their niche with this offbeat, darkly hilarious movie. I can tell you now though, you will have some unanswered questions after watching it the first time.

Review: The Kingdom

The Kingdom

Blood/gore: Tons of it. Easily a 10.

Dialogue: Hilarious sarcasm throughout the movie. Sarcasm gets you

an easy 10 in my book.

Sexual Content: No T&A, but Garner is a slammin hottie in uniform. It gets

a 6 just for being able to gawk at her all movie.

Special Effects: Amazing. Purely amazing. Well crafted movie. It gets a 9.

Weapons: You have to respect RPGs, Automatic Rifles, and human bombs.

It gets a 10

Destruction: It is a movie about terrorism. I would give it a 12 if 10

wasn't the highest possible score. So a 10.

Overall: 55/60

I had heard some bad reviews about this movie from some friends, which is why I had not seen it until just last night. Needless to say, my friends are idiots. This was one of the most suspenseful movies I have ever seen. Usually I think critics lie when they say crap like "this movie will have you glued to your seet from start to finish. You won't be able to turn away." With The Kingdom, that really is true. So much amazing special effects and gun scenes that I nearly crapped myself. It was that awesome. Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jason Bateman, and the smoking hot Jennifer Garner were all phenomenal as their respective characters. I especially loved the never ending sarcasm of Bateman, Cooper and Foxx. I found myself laughing at jokes as much as being in awe of the downright sick battle scenes. It is an easy to movie to follow, which makes the fact that it is really more of a movie focused on solving a crime that much better. Where other crime solving movies go lame and boring for most of the movie, The Kingdom goes through the roof with an explosive punch that will leave you in awe. Trust me, it is well worth the $4 to rent this and watch it a couple times. Hell, I would even say it is well worth $15 to buy.